Dear Diary #7 – What is Love?

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What is love?

Love is undeniably complex, but can also be contained in a simple formula for those that don’t want to think too hard on it. It is what it is, after all.

Love is when you care so much for another, that you’d do anything for them. You’d be there through all the arguments, because in the end, it doesn’t matter; you still love them. You’d be there for them when they’re going through a rough time, either something you yourself can see, or some kind of inner turmoil on their part. You give them space when they need it and stay by their side every other time. And more importantly, they don’t tell you they need space or want company. You just know.

This is love in its simplest form. To know. To feel connection on a soul-linked level.

But don’t think love is just one thing. There are levels to it. Different kinds of love. The love you show your family is different than the love you show for your significant other. A kind of love you had as a child, when you had daydreams about a specific teacher, would be puppy love. Everyone’s had it. Everyone’s knows it. It doesn’t stick.

Love is a give-and-take ordeal. Love is heard in the way you say things. Love is shown in the way you give things. Be careful who you love, because while you might feel one way about them, they may not feel the same, and this is where some people become stuck in a loop. Buying things for someone and never getting anything in return—not even a thank you.

I’ve been through that before. I’m sure we all have.

I’m under the impression that you never stop loving someone you truly love. Even if your relationship ends, you can still love them—unless it ends on a disastrous note.

I fell out of a relationship with someone I’m still in love with. I still think about him, but I don’t let it consume me, and that’s the difficult part people can’t seem to wrap their head around. Love someone all you want. Even if they don’t know you love them. Daydream if you must—lord knows I think back to all the good times we had, and all the moments I wish I could go back and change a piece of time just to maybe, maybe, have him back, and how I’d like to think we’ll try it again one day, though that’s a flimsy thread of hope right there—but don’t let it override your life. Don’t let it eat at your soul.

My problem is I wish I could tell him how I still feel, how I’m sorry that I’d never said those three words ‘I love you.’ But I don’t want him to think I’m obsessing. I don’t want to disrupt the life he has. I’m content with being friends and still having conversations.

And that’s the thing with having love for someone you’re not with. It might kill a little piece of you inside knowing they may be with another, or they may be living a better life than you, but you’re still content that they’re happy. You’re content that, though they aren’t a huge piece of your life, they’re still in your life. It’s all that matters where love is concerned: connection.

I’d lost connection once before, and I didn’t know which direction to go. I was lost myself. But you’ll eventually find your way out of the maze of your inner turmoil. I did. I’m content now.

So love someone all you want, and understand that, to quote a song from The Fray: ‘Love Don’t Die.’

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