Dear Diary #6 – A Final Goodbye?

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Dreams are fickle things…

I basically knew in my dream that it was my guy’s last day of hanging around before leaving to wherever he was going. So we hung out, we had some laughs, though I can’t remember much about what we spoke of. I remember we were in a baseball field, and I swear the person batting was trying to him me with that damn ball. Most of the things after that are hazy or not there–possibly my dream just didn’t make sense until it hit a certain point.

It was dark out.

He was getting ready to leave.

I hugged him and kissed him lightly on the lips and he said something along the lines of “Goodbye to…this.” And I asked, “This?” with a quirk of my brow and a grin. Because I’m quirky like that.

We started walking down the drive to I assume where his car would be, hand in hand, and I kept smiling to myself, because I was thinking something funny I wanted to say to him, but I didn’t say it because just because it’s funny to me, doesn’t mean it would be very funny to him. And, you know, he was already leaving and I didn’t want to push him further away.

I saw something in the sky. A smallish orb, but it was like looking at a distant planet that was distinct. Nothing like really bright dots that are closer to us than other planets. Nothing like stars. This object had a purple/blue hue to it with slight pinpricks of light, I guess. I asked, “What kind of planet is that?” before realizing it was moving a bit–getting a bit closer and larger. So I figured aircraft or something.

Boy was I dumb.

I’d looked away for a brief minute, still walking beside my guy when I glanced up again. Holy shit was it close. I heard his shout of surprise and I’m pretty sure I heard myself say, “Oh shit!” before the huge orb (not a meteor–a constructed shell of some sort) slammed into the ground and into us.

Everything went dark. I was floating in darkness, empty, yet still felt the eerie sensation of his hand in mine, but second after second, the pinpricks of what I felt faded until I was completely numb. It took me a moment to actually wake up.

And now I have to tell myself…was that a final goodbye?

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